Vic Fuentes singing “I want you in the most unromantic way” is probably the most romantic way anyone has ever said “I want to have sex with you”
fun fact: “nolo” is latin for “do not want” so if someone says yolo you can say nolo and they’ll think its just a stupid comeback but in all actuality you’re speaking latin which is classy as shit so haha the jokes on them
- 6-year old: Mommy, why is that man dressed like a lady?
- Mother: That is a lady. She was just born with the wrong body.
- 6-year old: How did that happen?
- Mother: Nobody really knows. But she's working to fix it, and that's what's important.
- 6-year old: Okay! *runs up to obviously self-conscious woman*
- 6-year old: Hey! Miss!
- Lady: ...yes?
- 6-year old: You look really pretty in your skirt!
- Lady: Thank you!
- *Kid skips back to her mom, and literally everyone in the vicinity smiles*
- I'd just like to point out that it wasn't hard to explain this to a child at all...... Next excuse please?
OMFG SO MY BROTHER IS GAY AND EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY KNOWS EXCEPT OUR PARENTS SO TODAY WE WERE WATCHING THE HANGOVER AND MY MOM AND ALL MY SISTERS WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW WE’D HAVE SEX WITH WITH BRADLEY COOPER AND MY BROTHER GOES “so would I” AND THEN “oh yeah I like boys guys surprise” IM STILL LAUGHING
this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid
- Men's magazine on eating right: STEAK PROTEIN EAT A WHOLE DANG COW EAT YOUR LOCAL BOOK CLUB FOR AN EXTRA ENERGY BOOST PROTEIN HOO HAH
- Women's magazine on eating right: One piece of lettuce a day with a side of two slices of skinless apple (the skin has extra calories! YUCK!) Want to treat yourself? Indulge in a plate of rabbit food with yummy diet water sauce for an extra kick!